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August 28 2017






 rnoachi replied to your link “Handbook for Mortals’ Pulled From ‘New York Times’ YA Best-seller…”

What’s going on omfg

LMAOOO. All right Ima try and explain this succinctly as possible. Basically this random-ass ‘young adult’ book, ‘Handbook for Mortals,’ hit the NYT Bestseller List on the #1 Spot for the Hardcover Young Adult Category this morning. Only problem is that literally NO ONE had ever heard of this book before, like nada marketing, publicity, etc. Zilch. It was supposedly published by a company, GeekNation who only announced their publishing arm back in July. 

To hit the Bestseller list, the book would have had to sold at least 5,000~ copies within the first week, but a few people were quick to point out a major discrepancy where the book was literally out of stock everywhere in all major retailers, like legit you couldn’t find it on B&N, Amazon, and so on.  

YA Twitter basically crowd-sourced an investigation where a few anonymous booksellers revealed that they had gotten calls first asking if they were NYT-reporting bookstores, and then received bulk orders of the book but not caring when the books arrived. Soooo essentially what happened was that this book scammed it’s way on to the top of the NYT Bestseller List by figuring out which bookstores reported sales to the NYT (to determine what hits the bestsellers list, the NYT’s methodology takes a sample from various bookstores, and this supposedly changes every week). They then ordered thousands of copies of the book from those stores and only those stores - and by doing so, this was all a scheme in the hopes of driving the book to the top of the bestseller list. 

The main impetus for hitting the bestseller list was for getting a better chance to have a movie adaptation of the book made with a label like ‘#1 NYT Bestselling Book!’ which would have made it more appealing to potential investors. Butttt all of this was discovered and the NYT sent out a revision where they removed the book on the list a few hours ago. 

Someone also compared an excerpt of the book to an excerpt from ‘My Immortal,’ so now there’s a conspiracy theory that the author, Lani Sarem, is actually the author behind that fanfic. She’s also a former music manager who worked with bands like Blues Traveler, and the official Blues Traveler account weighed in and claimed that she was fired for ‘pulling these kind of stunts.’ 

And IN ADDITION to all this craziness, you had the bizarre emergence of random early-2000s celebrities linked to all of this - Lani is apparently JC Chasez’s (from N Sync) cousin who promoted the book on his twitter, and the co-founder of GeekNation (the publishing company behind this book) is Clare Kramer, who portrayed Glory on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and actor Thomas Ian Nicholas (American Pie, Rookie of the Year) was allegedly involved and planning to star in an eventual movie adaptation.

So, yeah that’s what happened in the last 12 hours of YA Twitter lol. 

This is the wildest thing and I love every minute of it.

#also let me be super fuckin real with you here #if we discover that ‘my immortal’ was written by jc chasez’s cousin #i will immediately expire and ASCEND TO A HIGHER PLANE OF EXISTENCE (via @actualvampireang)

This doesn’t even cover half the craziness. Some of my other favorite parts:

- The cover wasn’t even revealed until the beginning of August

- The ONLY chatter on Twitter before this was a little blog tour they’d put together, but nothing else

- The distribution company behind this is the same people who distributed Milo Yadablahblah

- Whoever was behind this knew August was the best time to push a book onto the list (as opposed to September, which is bananas)

- Whoever was behind this knew the EXACTLY how many books to order form each store (the number that alerts NYT to start giving you a hard time is like 80 books at indies, so they went around and ordered 79 each.)

- But they were dumb enough to wildly over-order (they ordered over 18,000, over double what it would’ve taken)

- Also dumb enough to straight-up tell the booksellers “This is for an event but it’s okay if it doesn’t arrive”

- The book only has ONE blurb. One. 

- No trade reviews. No blurbs from other authors within the community

- The ONE blurb is from an “international bestselling author”

- No. She’s a self-pub romance author who’s besties with LS

- You find all that out in the foreword (who puts a foreword on a YA novel???)

- Also the main character is 25 and there isn’t a single teen in this supposed YA novel

- Also also the cover may have been plagiarized

- Also also also the book knocked The Hate U Give to #2 and Everything, Everything off the list entirely, so people were maaaaaaaad

- And finally, when confronted with all this, the author tried to pull a “#KeepYAKind uwu” in her response to PW.

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WEIRDER. The publication date was last week but literally one has a copy. I’m beginning to think the book just straight up doesn’t exist.

Also the My Immortal thing is priceless.

Dear youngins,









When you start a job, WRITE DOWN THE DATE YOU STARTED. Also the date you ended, if it ended. Write down the address. Write down the supervisors name.

You have NO IDEA how many forms this will be on. Seriously. I dont care if you have to email it to yourself on your hello kitty email or something, write it down and keep it. 

Also!! The date any promotion or pay raise is implemented!!

^^^ They seriously ask for this on so many job forms.

Honestly, the best option is to keep it saved in some sort of document on your computer or phone. I use a certain template and just copy and paste it, and refill it every time I go to a new job. Maybe it’ll help others, so here’s the template I personally use.

(Name of the place you’re working at)
Supervisor/Boss name:
Phone number:
Job Title:
Starting pay:
Ending pay:
Reason for leaving:
Start (From):
End (To):

It’s all shit that you’ll be asked on pretty much any job application. So go forth and be organized kids.

It’s also nice to keep a semi-updated list of references! I have a word document with job history (which includes info from @asidewalksymphony’s post, as well as a general summary of duties) and one with references. I never delete old references, I just add new ones to the top. I try to update all of this, as well as my resume, whenever I’m about to start or leave a job, or a couple of times per year.

If you have a desk job in front of a computer, save your resume and references and all this some way so that you can access it during slow times at work. And if it’s been slow and you haven’t looked at this stuff in a whole, open it up and update some things. Maybe you just got a new project that you can add to the part about what you do here. Maybe you learned a new software or computer skill. Or maybe your job description totaly changed. I’m not saying look at it every week. But if you have a desk job and get bored one day and think, huh what should I do next?! Do this.

i have never seen any of this in any form ever

the language itself is very fear mongering

it does help to use something like linkedin because it does boost your professional life a ton

but you can just keep stuff to like “started in july ended in august”

I mean like, I guess you could, but this original post was actually about applying for government assistance and they want things to be as specific as possible. And sure, maybe you’ll be lucky enough to never need this information except for finding a job or writing a resume.

Or maybe someday you’ll need foodstamps, or health insurance through the state, or disability.

It’s just infinitely easier to send yourself an email with the date you started a job and bookmark it or put it in a folder, than it is to not have the information and scour through all your social media/messages/files trying to find a specific date.





today i got some columbian food in the back of a haunted mall how was everyone else’s day


ok i will tell the tale

so im taking this spanish class, spanish professor wanted us to go out to eat to practice. im all prepared, i punch in the address and drive 2 the place. turns out this place isnt really a restaurant so much as it is a small habitable zone at the back of a vast, empty mall

there was dead silence and darkness. 90% of the outlets were shut down and blocked off

it was 2 o’clock on a Saturday, but this mall was COMPLETELY barren. an air of powerful curses hung in the air. none of the escalators were working, i had to hike up one like stairs

of course once i got to the restaurant i had a nice time and some p good food and a guy with a saxophone serenaded us with covers of pop hits

my freinds, it was surreal

so my plans got really mixed up today and i decided to revisit the cursed mall while i was in the area! it seems things have gotten even stranger

for the most part, it is still the creepy empty mall it has always been. but this time even less stores were open, even the columbian restaurant was closed.

the food court, which was slightly open before, was utterly barren, and for some reason slightly sped-up mexican sounding music played over the completely empty venue

this was a particularly strange outlet, where instead of the remains of a store, there was a neatly set up classroom in the display window


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if David swears again i want him to be giddy about (kinda like in the Book of Mormon musical when elder Price swore) and being all bouncy

@forestwater87 this is exactly what I was talking about
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Roman Reigns could lose every TV match he’s in clean, via pin fall, and WWE fans would still hate him for being pushed too hard and say he’s not ready to be in the main event picture and he needs to be in the midcard










Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.

I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.

*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about

*leans over and whispers back*  Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst

consider the coconut

this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”

i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.

listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them

This was a wild ride

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Proud Papa Haitch with Asuka during her NXT sendoff.

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the speech impediment of the 21st century (by Marc Johns)

I’ll fuck you up buddy this is not a speech impediment it’s linguistic evolution!! the existence of the phrase “Aisha was like” allows the speaker to convey whatever Aisha said without making the listener assume they’re quoting Aisha directly while still maintaining the FEELING of what Aisha said.

ie, Aisha said she didn’t want to go out with me VERSUS Aisha was like, “I’d rather kiss a Wookie”.

the addition of “XYZ was like” lets the speaker be more expressive and efficient and it is a totally valid method of communicating information!!

With the way language has evolved, this is one of the few ways I can even think of to express in casual conversation what someone said. 

“So I said to Aisha,” is certainly used, but if you remove the “so,” which implies casual tone (“and” can be used in the same way), you get

“I said to Aisha,” which is really formal in most English dialects/variations. I don’t know about all, but in New England dialects, you sound like you’re reading aloud from a novel.

“I told Aisha,” is really only used when you continue to describe, not tell, what you told her. Ex: “I told Aisha that James was too punk for her” works while, “I told Aisha, ‘James is too punk for you’” crosses the line back into formalness of the “I said.”

Things like “I asked” or “I answered [with]” are similar levels of casual and efficient to the “So, I said [or say, as many conversations about the past take place in present tense anyway, as if the speaker is giving a play-by-play in the moment]” but are specific to only certain situations. 

“I was like, ‘Marc Johns, what is your obsession with restoring archaic speech patterns and interfering with the natural progression of English from complex to efficient?’” envelopes all of these easily and is accessible and crisp, and allows for more variations on inflection than the others.

Of course, James is probably like, “I already fucking said that.” But eh, I tried adding on.

  (via crystalandrock)

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August 12 2017

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David rushes out and Max literally materializes ominously from behind him. Scheming Max is powerful and should be feared.

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a n g e r y 

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August 11 2017



Why do Germans use smilies like this :) or this:0 If they already got Ü oh Ö?

I just texted my German friend about this and she replied:

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